Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Random

Self-conservation is a defense mechanism. When persons employ mechanisms like projection and principalization, they are obviously intent on protecting psychological territory integral to what is usually defined as the "self". Many complex strategies are employed to maintain a preferred self, somewhat irrespective of whether that self-definition matches customary "reality" criteria.

Greenwalf (1980) pictured most dramatically the extent to which individuals manipulate and distort information to bolster their self-concepts. He indicated that persons are engaged in a constant process of revising history so that it will be congruent with preferred notions of the self. 

Reframing performance strategy: To dismiss failure by "inappropriate" justification of what has been done.

Transformed responsibility strategy: Calls for acknowledging failure but minimizing responsibility for it (e.g. due to temporary or "not really like me" mistakes).

M. W. Martin (1985) noted that a favourite form of self-excusing revolves around drinking alcohol, which permits rationalization of failure by attribution to one's intoxicated state. 

Albert Camus: Each of us insists on being innocent at all cost, even if he has to accuse the whole human race and heaven itself.

Swann and Read (1981): "In the course of their social relationships, there is a systematic tendency for people to solicit feedback that verifies and confirms their self-conceptions."

Continued: "During their social encounters, individuals may actively bring their interaction partners' interactions evaluations into harmony with their self-conceptions. To wit, the man who conceives himself to be intimidating may sustain this conception by behaving in ways that induce others to grovel in his presence; the woman who views herself as unlovable may validate this conception by acting in ways that foster rejection by her would-be lovers."

Thursday, September 11, 2008

9/11

Today is the day that Muslims were outcast in the entire media-brainwashed world. Those images of the planes crashing into the building being played over and over again as if it was the most ridiculous thing ever - I mean, who would think a plane can be crashed into a building? Architects and engineers apparently. Yes, they have been designing plane-crash-proof buildings since a few decades and the WTC towers were specially designed to absorb impact. Anyway, screw conspiracy theories. Who doesn't remember those videos?

Everyone agrees it was a horrible tragedy. 2752 dead. 2752 families ruined. But no one realizes the horror of the aftermath.

The millions and billions of Muslims that practice their faith in moderation began to get identified as terrorists. People like Aafia Siddiqui who may be considered a little on the extreme side because they try to preach ended up suffering immensely, and the thousands that went 'missing' are all tragic stories untold.

Compare Aafia's case with the Catholic number of missionaries traveling to India alone each year (a huge number) - you will learn that the world is quite open to preaching - only not by Muslims any more.

Why? They're potential terrorists? Now isn't that a little extremist I say!

Yes. Today was a horrible day indeed. Horrible, horrible day.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Clichés

Sometimes you really wish you could believe in cliches. Like if you love someone, you should let them go and if they come back to you, you know you really have something going.

I really hope it's true.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Ramadan Mubarak!

The month where all hypocrites come out and practice being Muslim or trying to be Muslim has arrived. In case you don't know, Ramadan is the month where Muslims (that's followers of Islam, not terrorists, for your kind information) are supposed to fast (means eating or drinking nothing) from dawn till dusk. The whole idea is for 'haves' to feel the suffering of the 'have-nots' etcetera.

So what is so hypocritical about this month of Ramadan, or the month of Hypocrisy if they decided to rename it? Well, you see, Muslims are supposed to do a lot of things and there's no flexibility allowed. You have to pray 5 times a day. You can not engage in pre-marital or extra-marital consummation. Sodomy is not allowed. You need to give a portion of your income to the poor (that is not tax). You can not consume alcohol. You can not see a woman's hair (or a woman show hers). Etcetera.

When Ramadan arrives, people showing one or more of the above-mentioned forbidden behaviours stop demonstrating them temporarily. Hell, a rapist could stop raping people and think he's being religious. What's wrong with that, they say, it's out of respect! They respect the month of Ramadan!

But if they respect the month of Ramadan so much, why don't they respect God's other commands? Just because God said blessings will be multiplied in this month doesn't mean you can be 'good' for this period and then continue being 'bad', does it?

With respect to sins, the way it works (in Islam at least) is that you commit a sin, beg for forgiveness and never do it again. Odds are, the All-Forgiving will forgive. But if you don't beg for forgiveness, and you are certain you will be sinning again, then how can you expect all your temporary goodness to be accepted?

It's like a cold-hearted criminal becoming good in prison only to continue being a criminal as soon as he is out.

Ramadan is not a prison for Muslims. (Though you will see many of them treating it like that!)

What's more, even though fasting means not eating, so many Muslims end up gaining weight! How is that? Well, they eat at dawn, they eat at dusk, and often have dinner as well. But they eat more to make up. Yes, they eat approximately twice as much because they have to go the whole day without food - which is really hard - considering the air-conditioner makes your throat dry (which some may think is worse than what a construction worker might go through lifting bricks and all, but oh well).

Another hypocritical thing about Ramadan is that it's the ultimate excuse for laziness. Public servants and private employees all alike take long breaks for prayers (in other Islamic months they would usually not even pray) and they will not get any work done because well, they're feeling hungry. ("Mujhe roza lag raha hei" - I can feel the fast!) What kind of an evil boss would make a hungry person work, right?

However, the most hypocritical thing that Muslims do in Ramadan is being self-righteous. Just because a person fasts gives him or her the license to indicate to others that they're not a good person because they don't fast, or pray, or say their Tarawwi. I mean, what is that all about? You've been bad all year, and then suddenly, because of culture and society (or the misconception that you're a Muslim just because you were born one) you think you are better than another? That is just not acceptable.

So what's this rant about then? Well firstly, I want to wish all Muslims (hypocritical and those who are not) a very blissful Ramadan. And secondly, to announce that I will not be a hypocrite this Ramadan; hence I will not fast this 9th month of 1429, Islamic year.

Due apologies to God and no one else.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Satanic Voices in my Head

Everyday we go on with our monotonous lives without ever really thinking. Which is why whenever we have free time we get to think things a lot. Over and through. Up and down. Thoroughly. Comparing past and present scenarios. Imagining future ones. How it has been. How would it be. What is the best angle for the chair to be at so that you can catch the fan, the TV and keep an eye on the pot if something is cooking. And you get to make conclusions.

Thinking. It's such a complex task that humans do without even thinking (intended pun). Or do they?

Did you know that before we move any muscle or perform any action, it takes our mind 1.5 seconds to make it happen?

You must be thinking that can't be true - because you fold your arms as soon as you think it - you scratch your nose as soon as you feel the itch - you slap him across his face as soon as he tries to feel you up.

It appears that our brain has a separate component - the subconscious. It's the subconscious where the electrical signals start working 1.5 seconds before we say something or perform any action. We are not aware of it, but we already know it. (Hey, don't try to negate me - ask the scientists and researchers who did the MRI tests to confirm this fact.)

So now, what is this 'subconscious' anyway? Another fairy tale? They say it's always more active than the rest of our brain, and it takes in each and every detail about everything we do or say like a sponge (yet it never helps us during our exams). It's so weird.

But think about it. Our mind tells us whatever the subconscious tells it. Right? And apparently our subconscious is not exactly in our control. We take direction from it. We don't direct it ourselves. Then whose control is it under?

All those media messages that we receive day in day out - has anyone ever thought about how they affect us?

In the early '90s when the dish antenna was still something new - in Pakistan at least - I remember there was some kind of campaign that asked people to switch off their television screens for a whole week. The advert featured a little girl staring at the tube with the audio blaring and the commentary said something like, "Is this your child or the network's child? What kind of values will she have? What kind of ideals will she look up to?" Etcetera etcetera. Then they asked people to switch off their televisions for a week.

This example is important. Because someone realised a long time ago that this tube - this TV screen that we stay glued to whenever we don't have anything else to do has the power to dominate our subconscious.

Does anyone remember the famous RATS incident during one of those US political campaigns? See, what they usually do is that they run words over the screen for as long as a millisecond - long enough for our subconscious to store it but too short for us to actually notice it. So that when our subconscious finally reveals those words to us as thoughts, we think they are our own thoughts.

The RATS incident was when the word RATS appeared during Bush's TV appearance (if I am not mistaken) for long enough for people to just see it. Still, only some people remembered it though.

So where was I? Ah yes, thinking! Yes. Nowadays we don't think. We let the tube do the thinking for us. We let the tube decide which football league to support, or which actor's performance to be impressed by. That is partly true for me at least - I rely on movie reviews a lot. I know some people who actually read the reviews after watching the movie. I try to write my own afterwards, heh. On Flixster!

So anyway, thinking is good. It makes the mind cloudy for a bit, which is a signal that something is going on (the machinery is still functional). It can help straighten things out as well. It can help you decide what you really want (or don't want) out of life. It can help you decide things regarding your family, friends and relationships.

Life is still a mystery to me though. I don't understand a lot of things. And I am adamant on finding answers for myself. Lucky for you, you don't have to do the thinking (or the searching). You just keep reading.

*in an evil satanic voice*
Give me the reigns of your subconscious! Muahahaha!

Monday, July 7, 2008

Dream about End of World


I had a weird dream last. A weird weird dream. There were hundreds and thousands of people out on the street. And they would go to each and every house and make every person come out. All of them were angrily chanting "There is no God but Allah, and Mohammad is His Prophet" in Arabic, and they were all very loud. Most people would just come down because of the noise without anyone having to bring them.

Muslims would join the parade (not sure if that is what it was) and non-Muslims would be given a choice - either to accept Islam (and start saying the chant) or be slaughtered right there.

It was a deadly war of some sort. The street I saw in my dream was one at Model Town Extension, near my father's place in Lahore. The left right after the Model Town graveyard.

The funny thing is, I am not even a religious person, let being religiously extremist aside. Neither would there be more than 1% non-Muslims in that area I saw. But from my dream it seemed it was something happening the world over.

It was scary. I was scared in my dream.

I feel fine now after waking up. Cheers.

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Mass Hypnosis

Most of you are just so brainwashed by the media that you don't even see it. You say Pakistan harbours terrorists. You say stuff like "Pakistan is a terrorist state". You say that stuff without even realizing how ignorant you sound.

If anyone gets to call Pakistan a terrorist country, it's a Pakistani.

Why? Because it's so bloody ironic that it's funny.

No one else has the right to try to be funny because they don't have the right to.

Pakistan is at war within its own borders. It's Pakistanis against non-Pakistanis. Religious extremists from another place versus liberals who helped form Pakistan. Pakistanis are not terrorists.

Americans fueled money into the Pakistan army so they could help the Taliban crush Russia. Yes, Talibans did it with America's aid. Why did Pakistan agree to do it? Because India was a major threat and Pakistan could use the extra money for defence.

Then the Taliban went out of control and the U.S. needed Pakistan's help because they were in the best position since the Pakistan army trained them in the first place. Why did Pakistan agree to do it? Because the other option was to go on war with America.

Now Pakistan is launching Taliban offensives within its borders. and American forces are killing innocent Pakistanis mistaking them for Taliban. When the whole world hears the words 'terrorist' and 'Pakistan' in the same headline without reading the print they think they know so much about the world? My beloved country is a mess. The least we deserve is not to be thought of as dangerous or terrorist-like in any way.

And all of this is for what? This is not our war. Maybe it's a war for oil? For greed? A one-world government? American dominance over the world? A world war III spoiler? I don't know.

I just don't want to hear anyone calling Pakistan a terrorist state again. Ever.

Go get your facts right. And don't let the mass media hypnotize you.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Why I carry on with AIESEC

Okay I get it. I think I now know why I continue with AIESEC despite everything.

AIESEC gives me things to do. Things to do give me the sense of purpose in everyday life (that doesn't have to be long-term, but can be). The sense of purpose gives me direction in day-to-day activities. The direction keeps me from straying away and doing useless things.

Useless things include sitting idly online, or with friends, or just lying on my bed.

I'm not saying that doing these things doesn't give me pleasure. Of course it does. But sometimes you need to stick to a few things and obviate hedonism in order to make progress.

Or to stick to a pattern of making progress (as opposed to sticking to a pattern of epicurean and self-destructive tendencies).

Heading in the right direction means having more fulfilling days, filled with achievement(s) that boost my morale and increase my self-confidence.

At some events, participating in AIESEC despite ridicule from friends actually gives me the motivation to go on with the struggle (that is life).

Motivation strengthens the mind.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Friends

You can forgive your friends for anything. Whether it is for literally inhaling that last piece of chocolate you asked them to save for you, or even for stealing your girlfriend. But you can't forgive them for spitting on your dreams.

It's just sad when that happens. You feel like they don't respect you or what you aim to do in life. They can't provide you with the motivation you need to keep steering towards your goals. From that point on, you don't feel like sharing your joys and successes and eventually the friendship wears off.

I guess that is just normal in life. Good friends come and go. After all, you need to have perfect understanding and friendship with just one person in this world.

That elusive one.

If we're lucky, all of us will find that one, get married and have hundreds and thousands of (hypothetical) kids.

Of course, most of us are jinxed.

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Hit by Realizations

People don't 'get' me. As much as I explain myself every so often, I realize I am still considered to be a weird guy.

I realize I am not the type who would say, "Haha! I was right all along!" I would stay quiet and expect the other person would realize it without me having to make any fuss about it.

I laugh when I am embarrassed, disgraced, anxious, nervous, angry or anything. I realize my laughter is taken as 'mockery' in a lot of circumstances. I don't mock.

I realize I use sarcasm solely for my personal amusement. I hardly wish to communicate my sarcasm to other people. It's a joke within my head - followed by laughter within my head.

I realize I perform much better when I feel inadequate. Like, when I am late, I get that guilty feeling that pushes me to accomplish more.

I realize I don't like to react to things. I internalize it and try to be pragmatic when I get over it. On the outside I would joke about it.

I believe that idealism supersedes any other ism and I will always fight for it. But I realize that pragmatism is what enables you to move on in life and make progress.

I make excellent judgments. And I rationalize my judgments very well. But I realize I am often wrong.

I realize that I have so many friends that I am left with none at times. They all think I have other friends to count on.

If someone gets the credit for something I have done, I feel happy for them. I realize that makes me gullible so people take advantage of me.

I realize people only keep a tally of the things they do for me, not things I do for them. I wish I would keep a tally like that too but I don't or can't.

I toy with people's minds in attempts to open them up. I realize that expanding people's mindsets is much harder than it might appear to be; and the consequences can be drastic if done too fast.

I realize I have hundreds of dreams yet I follow not a single one of them truly.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

The "F word"...

Quote from copyblogger:

Oh, those dreaded ‘F’ words. ‘Finish’, along with ‘focus’ and ‘follow through’ are words that make creative types cringe.

Focus? Why? Living in the land of possibility is so much fun! I have so many great ideas, it’s really impossible to focus on only one.

Follow through? Groan. It’s much easier to entertain new and energizing ideas! I can’t get organized enough to follow through on project ideas.

Finish? Death! If I finish something, then I have to face the reality of whether it’s any good or not – will anyone want my work?

My comment: Ditto.

Note: I haven't copied the entire post. Click here to see it on copyblogger.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Shh....!

Jobless as I am, I am making a list of various words I can think of that have the 'sh' sound. There are at least 11 different ways different alphabets make the 'sh' sound. Check them out:

'C' - social/Associate (soshul/assoshiate)
'Ch' - chalet (shallay)
'Psh' - pshaw (shaw)
'S' - surely/sure (shorely/shore)
'Sch' - schist (shist)
'Sc' - conscience (conshunss)
'Sh' - shabby (shabby)
'Se' - nauseous (noshus)
'Si' - tension (tenshun)
'Ssi' - mission (mishun)
'Ti' - dictation (dictashun)

This just goes on to prove that English is not a phonetic language at all. If you know the IPA (the crazy alphabets next to the words in dictionaries) you will know what I mean. Inglish iz a phunny languwage indeed.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Love-Hate - Arguments

It had endured many strong winds and drafts. The kind of weather it was used to, there was always one air current or another. At times - it got so used to the currents - it would not even realize it had been tolerating one.

There were many arguments. Mostly about support and about the leaves. The winds made the branch weak. Its connection to its home branch had been weakened by the excessive winds and it often supported itself with the help of nearby branches and the fencing.

One of the major arguments it often had was with the wind itself. The wind always had a response that made the branch feel worse about the accusation.

The branch would say to the tree, "Over the years, you have done nothing but wear me out. I find it hard to support myself, and I need your help. If you could, you could perhaps reduce the pressure on me so that I can just survive."

And the wind would respond, "You make it look like I'm the bad guy here. I have always brought about changes to your life. I take away the dry leaves that you are unable to support any more and you are able to grow fresh leaves in their place that give you the energy to go on.
"Where would you be without me? How can you always look at things your way and not mine? I travel miles to do you this favour and this is how you thank me? By questioning my motives?"

The branch would shudder and give away, gullible as always. It could never win the argument - in that instant at least. But when it would look back, it could always think of so many things it could have said to win the argument. Like, what it had done for the branch - without keeping count.

Who helped the wind slow down so that it could not become a tornado and be blamed for the lives of so many? The dry leaves it gave the wind allowed it to go and make some stranger's land fertile, rather than its own. And the branch lent the fragrance of its all but one flower to the wind so that it could charm its way everywhere it went.

Moreover, the wind had brought hails, snow and rain with it upon the branch. And it had not only taken away the dry leaves, but also carried away many fresh and healthy ones. And it never showed that it cared.

The wind and the branch never communicate efficiently enough to have a good relationship. They would always be partners at times, enemies at others.

You can't hate without loving, or love without hating.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

My Summer Internship 2008

The company where I work for my internship is located at International Business Park. It's a much calmer place compared to my experience of working at Raffles Place, but there aren't many interns here. Sadly, that means having lunch by myself, or in the company of Gold 90.5 FM.

On my first day of work, the Managing Director for the Singapore office of my company joined me for lunch. I guess I didn't realize the kind of chit-chat I should have had with him at the time. I told him about how I was having trouble with getting on-campus accommodation and I laughed nervously when I told him how homeless I was - bunking-in at a different friend's place every night. I went on to explain to him how I was trying to appeal for accommodation and how simple it may be. He kept a listening ear and in the end of the discussion, he said in a stern voice, "Being homeless in Singapore is not funny".

I guess in the one week or so that I've been working here I have lost the impression I had made in my interview and now I am trying to work my ass off to prove myself.

The work they want me to do for them is boring at best, but I get to call all around the world in search of information. The work I want to do for them, and this they allow - even facilitate, is to write news stories for their publications.

My timings are 9:00 am to 5:30 and the lunch break is one hour, but they are very flexible. For instance, I'm not considered late as long as I arrive before 10:00 am. I can leave as early as 5:00 pm if I want, but that is not always possible if you haven't finished your work. As a new (and the only) intern, I don't have that much work, but it's building up gradually.

Compared to where I was working before - as a telemarketer at a call center selling loans and credit cards - the lunch break here is also flexible. You can take it any time you want - usually between 12:00 noon and 2:00 pm. (At my previous job, the lunch break was fixed from 1:00 pm to 2:00 and my boss would give me steam if I was even a minute late. My supervisor then went on to tell me that the break was in effect 50 minutes only.)

I can go out for a smoke whenever I want. I mean, I've never tried to abuse this because I value the luxury. For my call center job, there were two 15-minute breaks, which were awarded if you met your team goals. Often, there would be no break at all. In smokers' world, that was genocide.

Only yesterday I was going through a 4-hour AIESEC transition session (from the current to the new executive board - unfortunately I'm in both) and there was no break. I had dinner during the session and my nicotine level dropped rapidly. On top of it, I had coffee afterwards so I was dying for a cigarette. When the promised break was not 'awarded', I felt like killing someone. Let me tell you, this session was being held 7:00 pm to 11:00 pm, after a whole day of work (or in my case, a half-day of work that was followed by a rushed and hectic trip to the airport to drop my sister off as she left for Pakistan).

I hate it when non-smokers don't understand smokers. Or when they're not even half considerate. For us it's like denying a thirsty person water. Oh well. I won't bark.

I wrote this post in the time I saved in my lunch break today (it was raining and I had to run to the food court where I work). I've been carrying my umbrella everyday since my internship began. Today is the only time I wasn't carrying it and it's been raining all day. So typically unpredictable, this Singapore weather!

Monday, April 21, 2008

Selling Blogs

With a title like that, you would probably expect some advice on how to make money from your blogs. Sorry to disappoint you if that was your expectation when you clicked in.

What I mean by selling blogs is selling the idea of blogging to someone who doesn't blog - something I have done a lot in the past months (well, ever since I started to blog myself). Naturally, some of these people (to my surprise, actually) started blogging and some of the more established ones are by:
So my dear readers, do check out their blogs because at least one of them told me my blog inspired them to start writing, which is a very heart-warming compliment indeed.

And while you're at it, two more people have joined in and they have some impressive posts, to say the least. They are by:
So hang around their virtual homes (i.e. their blogs), read their stuff and comment if you will.

The exam period is floating in the air in NUS and everyone is tensed up in this Reading Week, so a little distraction might only help. (Sorry if it doesn't!)

Disclaimer: I should say that I wasn't the only factor to have influenced the above-mentioned writers to start blogging; all I am saying is that I played a role (to whatever extent) in convincing them to start writing, and this is my way of showing my appreciation for them by making this post.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

All About The Money

You're always happy when you are out spending money, aren't you? But is that really happiness? Is that really fun?

Think about it. You go out with friends, watch a movie, grab a bite to eat, stumble upon a bar on the way back where you have a few drinks, and maybe grab an ice-cream somewhere along the way. As you go to bed that night, you have a smile on your face that says, "I have friends. I hang out with them and it's fun. I am so lucky."

And that is the story of just one day when you went out to have a little fun. There are at least 30 days in each month (yeah, yeah, I know that about Feb).

All is well until you reach the end of the month (or the beginning, depending on your cycle), when you start receiving your bills and (oh no!) bank statements. Only then you realize how much fun it had really been.

Unfortunately, we soon realize that money doesn't grow on trees. And if it did, others wouldn't have been as lazy as you and would've gotten to them first, leaving nothing for you. Yes; yes. I am not writing anything new here. This is not a new phenomenon I have discovered. It's an age-old adage.

It forces me to think, why, after being such smart and intelligent people (at least most of us), why do we keep doing the same things? Vicious circles. Why are we so afraid to say no?

Are we afraid that we might be disliked by our peers? Or looked down upon?

I don't know about you all out there but I could certainly learn a lesson or two in the art of saying 'no' and sticking with that decision.

And while we're on this, why can't people understand that 'no' doesn't mean, "Keep asking me again and again until I say 'yes'"? That's like offering someone a cigarette over and over again when they just announced they've quit smoking.

*Madonna sings in the background: "'Cause we are living in a material world..."*

I just wish I would not get suckered into this capitalist mumbo-jumbo about money making us all happy just by spending it. It does not give us all we need in life. I don't buy it.

But I see no outs.





Sometimes I find another world inside my mind
When I realize the crazy things we do
It makes me feel ashamed to be alive
It makes me wanna run away and hide

It's all about the money
It's all about the dum dum du du du dum
I don't think it's funny
To see us fade away
It's all about the money
It's all about the dum dum du du du dum
And I think we got it all wrong anyway

We find strange ways
Of showing them how much we really care
When in fact we just don't seem to care at all
This pretty world is getting out of hand
So tell me how we fail to understand

It's all about the money
All about the dum dum du du du dum
I don't think it's funny
To see us fade away
It's all about the money
It's all about the dum dum du du du dum
And I think we got it all wrong anyway, anyway

'Cause it's all about the money

It's all about the money
All about the dum dum du du du dum
I don't think it's funny
To see us fade away
It's all about the money
All about the dum dum du du du dum
And I think we got it all wrong anyway

It's all about the money
It's all about the dum dum du du du dum
I don't think it's funny
To see us fade away
It's all about the money
It's all about the dum dum du du du dum
And I think we got it all wrong anyway, anyway

Monday, April 14, 2008

Job Interviews







G-E-E-K-!

I am a geek. It's official.

I can't help but to have outbursts of geek talk. It doesn't matter if I am sitting in a group of non-geeks. I just can't help myself.

I start Facebook groups like Revive BillMonk to protest the errors in the BillMonk service (which is actually an excellent service by the way). And my reason is that I just can't believe there's a fantastic website out there that has a major bug and it's not being fixed.

I use Mozilla Firefox because it has add-ons like the Facebook toolbar, the Google toolbar, SearchStatus 1.21 that shows Alexa and PageRank rankings, and Screengrab! 0.93, that helps save the entire web page as an image (very useful).

I also manage to hang Firefox because I don't restart it for days, have more than 15 tabs open at any given time, and I have two different versions of Adobe Acrobat (8.0 and 8.1) installed on my computer. There are times when I open a page that requires a Java applet to run (Internet banking or Facebook image uploader) while I open an Adobe Acrobat (.pdf) document in another tab, when at the same time a Facebook Notification (from the toolbar) pops up and that totally crashes my browser.

Thankfully, Mozilla saves all the web pages that are open before it hangs and when I open it again I get the option to 'Restore Session'. *smiles cheekily*

When I talk about things that totally inspire me, people often zone out because they don't want to listen to geek-talk (or know how to). You could get me started by saying something absurd like, "Yahoo is better than Google".

I am so passionate about most Google products that I just won't tolerate an accusation like that. Yeah, I use most Google products: AdSense, AdWords, Analytics, Base, Blogger, Calendar, Docs, Gmail, Groups, iGoogle, Maps, Notebook, orkut, Picasa Web Albums, Reader, Talk, Web History, and Webmaster Tools.

Why was there a need to make this post? Why tell the world you're a geek?

It's fairly simple - when people hear me talk (yap!) about geeky stuff, they feel like calling me a geek. But people are polite (yes, it's true!) so they don't.

But I don't mind being called a geek. It's only true. So go right ahead. Say it.

PS. This post may not make any sense at all. If you bothered reading it, you are either jobless or you just can't consume any more text books (reference to the NUS exam period). To the latter, I wish good luck.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Whims and Feelings


It's a weird feeling to not feel. To not care. To be oblivious to life. Desensitization.

You feel larger than life. You think life will bend to accommodate your whims and fantasies. Not the other way around.

You stop valuing people. Relationships. You give up hope on humankind. You fall into a downward spiral.

You feel better when you think of her. You continue to dream, to fantasize. And life starts to make some sense again. Until you get that email.

You try to contain it all in your head. You tell yourself you can deal with it. You can make it.

You just need someone to hold your hand.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

PMS - Verb or Noun?

Sure you think it's a sensitive topic to discuss - whether you're a guy or a girl, or anywhere in between. But it's a fact of life, you know, like death, or halawa. These things exist in life and you have to learn to deal with them.

Personally, I think PMS is great if you're the one who's doing it. (In this context, PMS means whining - read on for more details.) For example, my computer has been PMSing since a few weeks now. Low disk space errors, viruses and what not. I finally reinstalled Windows but the errors continued. So I re-reinstalled it. It feels much better now after I have given it enough attention but every now and then it asks me to restart it so that some new updates can be installed. But I have too many PMSers to deal with. So I'm moving on.

That brings me to the question of what is this PMS. How do you pronounce this word? It's pee-em-ess by the way, and that is the noun form, and so is PMSer - a person who is PMSing. Pee-em-ess-ing is the verb.

PMS is the state/act (noun/verb) of acting out on an impulse of your emotions. To PMS effectively, you must make sure you don't rationalize or use any logic. Intuition and bad judgment will get you the attention you deserve.

To tackle PMS, think of it as war. Either you can be the brave warrior that fights on the forefront and doesn't step back. The warrior would continue to battle until he either dies or wins. Or you can be the one that runs away - hoping the war would end soon on its own and life would return to normal.

PMS is exhibited by many but only a few people realize they are dealing with it when they are dealing with it. Your cell phone could be PMSing, or your browser, your guy friends, your girl friends, your boyfriend or girlfriend, your siblings, the weather, the stove, school assignments, your leather boots, Photoshop, bank balance - just about anything!

So watch out!

Disclaimer: I used the computer's PMS as an example to illustrate that this phenomenon is not observed in just one gender or species. I am definitely not comparing women to computers. PMS is prevalent in every living and non-living thing and the sooner we become aware of it (and learn the tackle it) the better off we will be. Good luck to you.

Friday, March 21, 2008

31 days


After such massive abuse, there is no choice left but to reinstall Windows.

Friday, March 14, 2008

Status Updates on Facebook

March 13:

Nabeel is running through tissue paper rolls and cussing at the NUS CCA points' system.

12:03pm

Nabeel is running through tissue paper rolls.

7:27am

March 10:

Nabeel 's greatest dream is to see ZERO UNREAD emails in his inbox...

8:41am

March 9:

Nabeel is pulling his hair out!!!! *&%^$%@!

7:11pm

March 6:

Nabeel is sick and tired of being sick and tired.

7:35pm

March 1:

Nabeel wants to ride the world's largest observation wheel and then compare it with the eye in London.

8:46pm

February 28:

Nabeel has Chlorine in his lungs.

8:48pm

February 27:

Nabeel is keeping the faith...

5:25pm

Nabeel feels like a tabula rasa.

1:38pm

Nabeel is grilled.

1:31am

February 25:

Nabeel is in for some massive grilling.

2:47am

February 22:

Nabeel is dead dead dead (and the week has not really ended for him).

3:49pm

February 21:

Nabeel is dead.

11:46am

February 19:

Nabeel is going through his crisis week.

8:30pm

February 17:

Nabeel is sneezing like a pig... Oh wait, do pigs sneeze?

5:21pm

Nabeel is looking for Sweeney Todd but can't find it on Ares.

6:11am

February 16:

Nabeel is lovin' it.

3:09pm

February 15:

Nabeel is the internal communications expert in Yahoo!

3:27pm

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Valentine's, what else?

Last Valentine's I was miserable and I shared this video on my blog.

This year it is different for some reason but those glazy eyed, dazed-face couples and the heart-shaped balloons still annoy the hell out of me. Whatever you guys do when you're in love, keep it in the closet! PDAs aren't really my thing. (That's Public Displays of Affection you geek!)

Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day to you all. If you also think this day is stupid, that's cool, but don't sit home alone tonight. Go out and buy yourself some chocolate.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Updates... Sneeze attack!

I've been out from the "blogging scene" since quite some time so what all have I been up to?

I watched The Notebook and The Kite Runner yesterday - both awesome movies that are able to deliver goosebumps and very real emotions (you know the kind you can feel in your eyes). I recommend them both even if you have the least bit of a feminine side.

Day before yesterday we finally initiated the Global Village project with the first meeting of the OC. I was lucky to be able to get hold of some talented people from AIESEC in NUS and now it's all about implementation and a little bit of brainstorming as we come up with proposals and what not. I have yet to send out the minutes though. I need to speak to the LCP about some things first so I'm procrastinating a bit. But what can an LC event be without the president's help?

Right now I am sitting down at the lovers' den near Central Forum and I'm working on a web critique that I have to write for my publications module. I'm handing it in late so I need to make it very good to make up for the penalty. I've picked the AIESEC Singapore website to critique and the other four websites need to be of similar organisations so I'm picking iHippo, Work and Travel USA, JobsCentral, NUS Exchange and one other.

Speaking of the lovers' den, it's quite empty here considering it's the love season - St Valentine's coming up and all. I guess this place is still somewhat original and not commercialised (but it could be done very effectively, I believe).

Later I am attending WWF's Living Planet Report (multi-disciplinary perspectives on climate change). If someone from the AIESEC Environmental Awareness PBoX is there, we might even speak to WWF about a possible partnership or something of the sort.

Tomorrow I have 7 hours of non-stop lectures/tutorials (Tuesdays I am booked from 10 am to 5 pm) and then The Ridge elections at 6:30 or something. Still not sure if I want to run for anything.

I also have to complete my EB application because I have decided I want to be in next year's AIESEC in NUS executive board. But I can't find my old application - it would've helped so much! Wish me luck as I am sure there will be good competition!

Oh, and I have signed up for Arabic language classes that will be every Wednesday (starting day after tomorrow) 5 to 7 pm. The downside to this is that it leaves me broke, and now I need to quit smoking to save some money. More on that on my War On Smoking blog (I'm selling my last 50g packet of Drum tobacco if anyone wants it for S$20).

I haven't done any cooking this semester and my sister has been picking up the slack. The other day I soaked some red (kidney) beans in water for two days and they went bad because I didn't cook them. They were just lying there and had to be thrown away. I hate wastage of food! So I need to do some cooking real soon!

And last, I am applying for internships for this Summer (there's this one Development Traineesheep in China that really caught my attention) but I am not sure if I want to apply through AIESEC (there's this one with Bloomberg Singapore that I really like). So I am not sure what I should do. I also want to plan it in such a way so that I can visit Pakistan again for a month or so at the end of the 3-month summer vacaton.

So what have you been up to?

Sneeze attack!

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Black and White World

I wonder how it can be so easy for people to live in a completely black and white world. Where philosophies, logic and arguments can not reach any conclusion because of the very nature of this kind of world.

Reasons.


Excuses? Arguments? What are reasons? Why is it so hard to understand them; to deal with them? Why do some people choose to accept reasons and others choose to ignore them?

Do reasons represent what is morally grey? Do they represent everything that falls between the black and the white?

Are all the colours of life just a bunch of reasons?

I don't fathom reasons. I don't like excuses. I always like to do what is best and what is the most appropriate. But I still have reasons.

If a father, who is supposed to go to an event that is important to his daughter, isn't able to make it because of, guess what - reasons, does that make him a bad guy?

The answer is: in a black and white world that would make him a bad guy.

But life can not be just that black and white, now can it? Reasons are always there to be accepted, so that life can move on and show all its colours in all their glory.

There is a reason why everything turns out to be the way it does. In fact, there are always numerous reasons - and tons and tons of different perspectives. I'm saying there are even more than two sides to every story.

Life is not black and white. Accept it the way it is and learn to understand all the perspectives.

It's too cliched but I'll still say it - forgive, and forget - the two things that will always make you happy and your life colourful.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Experience of a Singaporean in Pakistan

Zafirah is an NUS graduate who was in the AIESEC national team in 2005-2006 as President. She has been doing an AIESEC internship in Karachi, the ex-capital of Pakistan and here she shares some of her experiences and opinions about Pakistani culture. It is a good read, especially for Pakistanis.

Hey everyone!

Hope you're all doing well. Here in Pakistan it's business as usual. I "visited" Singapore last week for a wedding, and have now returned to Karachi. It's a long email here, recapping thoughts and sharing experiences. So read on only if you have time!

It's been eventful in the past 5 months, and having it peaceful like now, it's quite strange I must say. In Karachi we've had the floods in July/August, the first Benazir assasination attempt, the Karachi Express train derailed, the state of emergency imposed by Musharraf, the assasination of Benazir, post Benazir fiasco, and now upcoming elections. Quite exciting times indeed!

Truth be told, I can now understand why most Pakistani's have become numb to political developments in the country. I still remember when the state of emergency was declared. Us interns were so worried, yet the Pakistani AIESECers shrugged it off as no big deal. Today, we read the newspapers and nothing surprises us anymore. The worst seems to have already happened, one of Pakistan's most influential political leader was killed and no particular group has been identified as being responsible for her death.

And now with elections around the corner, everyone is looking forward for it to be OVER. It doesn't matter who wins, as long as there is somebody! Because then there is certainty and with certainty, whether good or bad will bring stability because people know what to expect and how to deal with the circumstances.

Anyway, politics aside...

I was once asked about how women are treated here in Pakistan. And I am being totally frank here, (albeit with a bit of humour) the women are loved, respected, but sometimes overprotected. Being a woman I am entitled to priviledges that men never enjoy. For example:

1) In bargaining for the rickshaw, all I need is a tilt of the head and pleading eyes and the drivers just sigh..... and give in to my asking price! :)

2) If I were driving, I would always get my way on the roads. ALWAYS, no questions asked!

3) If in the elevator, men would squeeze themselves like sardines into the corners to allow me to get on, and even then still give me lots of breathing room!

Generally, living alone in Pakistan as a woman is really quite safe. However in career development, it is still evolving. Mindsets are being challenged within less educated families as it is not accepted for a daughter to be working, what more developing a career? Making an independent, individualistic choice by the daughter is virtually unheard of. From my interactions with young ladies here who have finished their education, from both better-off families and poor families, these ladies have limited options. This is because what they want to do in their own future is determined by their family's approval. e.g. getting married, starting a family.

Of course there are ladies who are given the opportunity to develop their own talents, pursue their chosen careers, and not protected from making their own mistakes and learning from them. However these cases are rare, from what I observe, looking at the number of women entrusted with top management positions.

As a trainee, we can observe, question and hopefully inspire positive change in this environment we are in. Through daily interactions, conversations, and leading by example. Which brings me to my point! (Yes, this long email has a purpose, especially for those that might be considering but haven't decided on exchange yet!)

Through the AIESEC experience, we hope to develop change agents with entrepreneurial, socially responsible, active learner, etc.. characteristics. Which seems like a lot of fluff for me when I was a new member! And I never really understood how effective it really is, until NOW! Exchange is and should remain the most integral part, because it just makes everything fall into place.

Being here in Pakistan has challenged me, changed me, made me realise even more what I am capable of, what I need to do, what my life purposes are, and how I can get there.

For those that are applying for exchange I wish you all the best and may you realise your potential even more!

For those that are still thinking about going for exchange.... I'd say just go for it! Don't let the opportunity pass because there may not be a next time later on...

For those undecided where to go for exchange.... Come to Pakistan! What you see on TV is just a tiny fraction of life events here, and if I can survive for this long, so can you. I believe we have a few development traineeships and management traineeships available. If you're interested, drop me a mail :)


All the best!

Zafirah Mohamed

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

The Middle Class Effect

By Osman A. Khairi and Kamran Khan

Curiously, Pakistan passes through a cycle of political tumult and unrest after about every ten years that somehow leads to a change of the ‘faces’. After the political upheavals of 1958, 1968, 1977-78, 1988, and 1998-99 we are about to enter into 2008 with yet another ‘middle class revolution’ brewing in some urban areas.

Politics is much like Plato’s allegory of a cave where we do not see the real world but only the images of the people outside the cave being formed on the wall. Likewise, on the Pakistan political stage, we do not see the ‘reality’ but only the ‘images’ that are being projected onto the screen, now immensely powerful images with global satellite TV.

Sentimental viewers of mostly middle classes tend to get so much emotionally involved in the play that they start ascribing their own latent ‘dreams’ and memories of their own unfulfilled youthful desires to the different ‘players’ on the screen.

All politics is essentially the interplay of some conflicting powers competing for expanding or protecting their interests. Modern politics is also the art of camouflaging this conflict in some more ‘popular’ garbs. We are at times at a loss to discern the real conflict beneath the multiple layers of covering.

Let’s attempt to see what is happening around us and who the real ‘players’ are?

Today, in our political life we are witnessing mainly five contradictions/paradoxes interacting with each other on different planes:

(i) The underlying conflict between the US-led western powers’ hegemonic interests in the south and central Asian region and a powerful and politically dominant Pakistan military that is now armed with nuclear weapons. Currently, this conflict has become the main driver of most political happenings in the country and is directly impacting all other conflicts in our society.

(ii) The conflict between the directly ruling military and the political power blocks of ruling elite who aspire to extract their pound of flesh in the plunder of national wealth. This conflict has been generally the most dominant factor in our national politics till 1988.

(iii) The internal conflict among political parties representing coalitions of different power blocks competing with each other for a power and wealth sharing role with the military and in the process seeking blessings and patronage of the western imperial powers.

(iv) The aspirations of the expanding middle classes for a greater role for themselves in the governance and the system of patronage currently dominated by only a small ruling elite. These aspirations are usually expressed in Op-Ed pages and Letters to Editors in English Newspapers and on electronic media in terms of demands for more social and political ‘freedoms’ in line with western democratic political models, The middle class aspirations of at least the urban areas of Sindh have found an independent political representation in the form of MQM. A rising middle class of Punjab has yet to find an independent political representation.

(v) The burgeoning desires and demands of common men and women and the toiling masses of the country for emancipation from oppressive poverty and an unfulfilled dream for better living that can meet their basic needs of shelter, health and education have not yet found any voice and political representation.

In the world arena, G8 powers and China are simultaneously competing and collaborating with each other for expanding their economies. The US has taken an outright aggressive posture to dominate the world economy with brute force and is prepared to unleash new wars to demonstrate its capability to do so for gaining exclusive control of the world’s energy resources to ensure its continued hegemony. The world’s largest oil and gas reserves, so critically vital for the industrially developed economies having the ambition of playing the role of global powers, are located in and around the regions of the Middle East and the Central Asia. Most of the oil supplies pass through the Persian Gulf. Pakistan with its large standing army and nuclear weapons is located too dangerously close to these prized regions. China critically needs an outlet in this area through Pakistan to resist any blockade of its vital energy supplies. This global conflict has now become a predominant factor in the politics of many weaker economies like Pakistan which happen to be located in the vortex of this global energy game. Earlier, before the development of colonial and post-colonial world, international conflicts seldom played this high level of disturbing influence on the local politics and domestic power conflicts usually played dominant roles in the societies. Now for a long time the local interest groups of the ruling classes do not have sufficient political and military strength to challenge the global players and have no choice but to compete among themselves for seeking a role to serve one or the other dominant player in the bigger global power game and during the currency of this ‘appointment’ skim off some national wealth for themselves in awarding state controlled contracts and in the deals for procurement of weapons from their masters.

In 1947 Pakistan was founded in areas with predominantly agrarian and tribal socio-political structures and matured political institutions were conspicuous by their absence. The only state institution in this part that was fairly matured and developed was the military that was mostly recruited by the British colonial administration from the Punjab and parts of NWFP. The Pakistan army having strong and disciplined institutional support system soon gained preeminence in the newly formed state structures in early 1950’s and finally established its direct rule in 1958, ruthlessly suppressing the nascent political evolutionary process. The landed aristocracy and the merchant bourgeoisie soon assumed the role of junior collaborators and quickly learnt the politics of gaining economic benefits through patronage of military generals. Building its own independent extensive revenue-generating economic base, Pakistan military became the sole negotiator for the country in the international power game during the cold war. The rising imperial power in the Asian theater, the US swiftly developed direct links with a strong standing army in south Asia to counter balance the Soviet Union and China’s growing influence in the region and the Middle East.

Exploiting the opportunity provided by China’s breaking away from the Soviet Union’s camp in early 1960’s, the Pakistan army clearly tilted towards China to seek protection from a possible pincer attack of soviet dominated powers; from India on its eastern border and from Afghanistan on the west. The China card also provided a timely lever to the Pakistan army for bolstering its position in its negotiations for more military aid from the US and European powers. Extra-ordinarily warm Pak-China Friendship in 1960s and 1970s was the need of Pakistan army to mitigate the fear of betrayal from the US and the West in Pakistan army’s attempt to resist Indian hegemony in south Asia.

During the process of the economic growth in the last about 50 years the middle classes have steadily expanded in numbers, increasing disposable incomes and social influence while accumulation of wealth in large urban areas has dramatically increased in the last about 10 years. Sharing of some benefits of the economic growth during military’s first direct rule in Ayub’s era produced first signs of middle class gaining strength and consequently asking for more political freedoms and greater role in governance. Primarily the youth of those middle classes who actually benefited from the magic of state sponsored capitalism came out on the streets demanding freedoms in 1968, a beginning of the first radical students’ movement in the country. Triggered by the students’ agitation, the first (and, perhaps, the last) mass political upheaval was witnessed in Pakistan when Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto cleverly exploited political discontentment of the middle classes and successfully agitated the urban poor by inviting them for ‘gherao aur jalao’ raising a radical slogan of the promise of "roti, kapra, aur makan" (bread, clothing and rooftop)!

Contrary to general belief, barring a few marginal concessions, this haphazard demonstration of the street power and ‘labour agitation’ did not yield any fruits in the form of meaningful ‘political freedoms’. In fact, as usual, it resulted in a ‘counter-revolution’ from the army, which again assumed the role of ‘direct ruler’ with Yahya Khan imposing another martial law. It was the subsequent humiliating defeat of Pakistan army in the East Pakistan and the eastern part winning its independence in December 1971 that, in fact, forced the Pakistan Army to concede to the civilian rule by handing over the political power to populist Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto.

Unfortunately, Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto squandered this first and probably the last opportunity to permanently lay the foundation of a civilian political rule in Pakistan and soon succumbed to his own complexes and in pursuit of his personal whims and political vendetta he unwittingly helped resurrect the arbitrary powers of the military. Army soon recouped its strength and struck back in vengeance in 1977. Bhutto, a populist elected Prime Minister from the political elite of the country, was hanged essentially for the unpardonable crime of personally humiliating the Pakistan army.

Soon a major event occurred on the western borders of Pakistan. Soviet army walked into Afghanistan in 1979 to bolster the tottering pro-soviet regime. Pakistan army became the darling of the west and billions of US dollars were pumped by the West and the Saudi Arabia through Pakistan army to whip up an Islamic Jihad against godless communists – a US backed proxy war against Soviet Union. Intoxicated with dreams of establishing a pure Islamic Caliphate, Islamic Jihad volunteers were recruited by CIA from all over Muslim world and trained and equipped to fight a guerrilla war in Afghanistan. Pakistan army gained immense regional influence while few individual generals amassed huge wealth by skimming off the weapons supply line. To consolidate its tight control over domestic politics, with a green light from Washington, Pakistan army succeeded in creating ‘constitutional safeguards’ of assuming an arbitrator’s role by obtaining the indirect power through the office of the President to dissolve the elected parliament whenever it feels the ‘integrity’ of Pakistan is threatened. The political structure of the country was thus permanently skewed. The political landscape of south and central Asia significantly changed after the withdrawal of Soviet Union from Afghanistan and signing of the Geneva Accord. After successfully inflicting fatal wounds to the Soviet Union in Afghanistan, the USA wished to ‘pack up’ and leave like shooting of a Hollywood movie coming to an end. But in the words of Zbigniew Brezinski ‘some stirred up’ Islamic Jihadis and Pakistan army were not too pleased with the idea. Soon Pakistan army chief and President General Zia ul Haq and a galaxy of key military generals together with the US ambassador were blown up in a mysterious military plane crash near Bahawalpur in 1988.

The army temporarily suffered a shock and stepped back. The power was transferred to a pliant civilian set up under Benazir Bhutto, the daughter of hanged Prime Minister Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto. Thereafter, it is a long and sad story of corrupt and inept politicians coming and going, in a merry-go-round one after the other, at the pleasure of real power brokers as part of the ‘permanent establishment’, and in the process amassing enormous wealth for themselves and their cronies in a state sponsored plunder of national wealth.

After the collapse of the Soviet empire, the global political landscape has changed significantly. The US backed Iraq-Iran war had come to an end in 1988 without a conclusion. The US lured its protégé Saddam Hussein walking into Kuwait and then immediately unleashed a ‘Desert Storm’ in the Middle East and successfully destroyed the Iraqi Army, a war machine becoming quite strong and well equipped during the previous war. Pakistan army is another politically well entrenched, well-oiled and fully equipped war behemoth in this sensitive region that needed to be cut down to the size. Pressure on GHQ was gradually mounted while at the same time collaborating on many vital matters of mutual interest. Meanwhile, Pakistan army succeeded in gaining some strategic depth by carving out an area of influence in Afghanistan with the help of Taliban that it created in its religious-military training schools in Pakistan. After initial enthusiasm of the US for a stable regime not hostile to their designs for access to oil in the region (who cares if it was openly trampling democratic and women’s rights in the name of mediaeval Islamic Caliphate), the obstinate Taliban in collusion with Pakistan army were turning out to be a hard nut to crack. For the US strategic planners, the genie of Islamic Jihadis that they had gleefully created was not prepared to roll back into the bottle. On top of it, Pakistan defiantly exploded its nuclear devices in 1998 in response to India’s nuclear detonations. A dangerous missile race for acquiring long range nuclear devices delivery capability ensued in the region making it even more volatile and explosive. Eventually, the birds came back to roost. On the morning of infamous 9/11 the Taliban-protected Al-Qaeda struck like lightening at the US symbols of hegemony by destroying World Trade Centre in New York and damaging the Pentagon in Washington. The world was not to remain the same.

A ‘War of Terror’ in retaliation was unleashed with full US imperial military might in Afghanistan, leaving little choice for other allies including next door Pakistan but to acquiesce or being ‘thrown back into the stone age’. Pakistan hurriedly complied. Next target of full frontal attack was beleaguered Iraq, which is now practically dismembered and only rubble has remained there to bounce, reminding the destruction of Baghdad by the Mongol hordes of Helegu Khan in 1258. Saddam Hussein is executed to make a horrible example for others and a strategic control over enormous oil wealth in the region is successfully demonstrated to terrorize the whole world. Sabers are now rattling for the next target in Iran and again Pakistan army’s role in future in the new war game would be critical.

For some time now US think tanks like Carnegie Endowment Institute of International Relations have been building up a case that Pakistan army has long been using the bogey of Islamic Fundamentalists under its own patronage to scare the Western world and every time succeeds in negotiating a ‘deal’ for itself when pressures are mounted. Suggestions are being made to finally call the bluff and sort out this matter once and for all. It is, however, ironic that both the adversaries successfully use these Islamic Fundos (some of them are truly misguided and some are downright corrupt) towards scoring points over each other. Now the full steam is on. Diplomatic pressure was put on Pakistan military to come to terms with chosen ‘political leadership’ of Benazir Bhutto, who is obviously too eager to play the game at whatever terms. Amusingly reminiscing his association with Benazir Bhutto in Oxford, Council on Foreign Relations (CFR) President Richard Hass introduced her recently in August 2007 to a galaxy of real global power brokers in a gathering in Washington as the selected candidate for the new job in Pakistan. We know CFR is the most influential body of the powerful policy makers in the USA. Most of the US doctrines that have had significant impact on the course of world history were always first expressed in CFR and its organ Foreign Affairs. The recent notable example is Samuel Huntington’s The Clash of Civilizations (on the intriguing origins and history of CFR and its likes sometime later). Pak-Iran oil refinery, Iran-Pakistan-India gas pipeline, and other gas pipeline projects in the region are scuttled under pressure from the US. China came to the rescue of Gwadar Port project and is investing significant sums to gain a strategic outlet for its oil supplies and trade routes from the region. No wonder, there was a sudden upsurge in an almost dead horse of Baloch nationalist movement operating from its bases in Afghanistan and most of the project work in the province came to a stand still. Full sympathy to a genuine movement for Baloch national rights and for equitable distribution of their natural resources, but a sudden championing of this ‘national cause’ by likes of Akbar Bugti was a little more then what the eyes can see on the media. When army brutally eliminated the irritating thorn of Akbar Bugti and his militia in a ‘clinical operation’, a Pakistani Taliban commander Abdullah Mehsud who spent five years in Guantanamo Bay and was handed over to the US backed Karzai regime in Afghanistan, reappears and abducts two Chinese engineers of whom one was later killed. There is a simultaneous rise in militant Jihadi movements in the tribal areas bordering Afghanistan soon spreading into otherwise settled areas of Swat and adjoining territories. Reportedly, India has set up more Consulate offices in Afghanistan then in any other country in the world, all of them in the eastern provinces bordering Pakistan. Both Baloch liberation movement activists and Red Mosque militant Jihadis in Islamabad and other towns in the northern areas started specifically targeting Chinese nationals, leaving all American and European nationals undisturbed. It is a strange and unexplainable phenomenon in view of the long tradition of almost sentimental Pak-China friendship traditions. Dubious Islamic Jihadi groups defiantly challenged government writ in the heart of Islamabad and in Swat and strangely, otherwise quite liberal media, suddenly started unleashing a blitzkrieg in sympathy of the antics of fundamentalist militant Jihadis. Western media power and the local and foreign NGO groups and Internet groups are all in unison and an unusual display of global sympathy with the fighters of democratic rights on the streets of Pakistani towns out of the whole world is too good to believe.

In this backdrop higher judiciary also started displaying an over enthusiastic activism that was almost bordering on sheer adventurism in the given state structures, though, undoubtedly taking up very valid causes, specially those that are very close to the hearts of the middle classes and the Intelligentsia of the country. There was a marked increase in suicidal bomb attacks at different military and civilian targets inside cities and towns of Pakistan.

As expected, the besieged Pakistan army struck back in retaliation and ruthlessly crushed Islamic Jihadis in Islamabad and took draconian measures against recalcitrant judiciary and the media. Eventually, emergency is declared in the country suspending the fundamental and human rights and most of the activist judges of the superior courts have been summarily dispensed with. Some sections of the Intelligentsia, particularly the lawyers and journalists have come out on the streets to protest against government’s high-handedness and strict measures. The new and affluent middle class developing in Punjab is particularly agitated, quite vocally giving it an ethnic undertone. For the first time in history otherwise completely apolitical students of elite educational institutes like LUMS and FAST in Lahore, where mostly sons and daughters of affluent classes are enrolled, have shown some signs of political agitation on their campuses.

But no intelligent observer can escape noticing that the common men and the masses are conspicuously absent from this drama being played on the streets of Lahore and partly in Karachi ostensibly for the peoples’ ‘democratic rights’. A common man has apparently learnt its lessons in the street agitations of 1968 and in 1977, which were nothing more then stage shows organized by some powers to topple one set of rulers and bring other more pliant cliques, eagerly bidding for a new role in the changed circumstances. No wonder, all agitation is specifically for the change of faces only. Even the rhetoric is ostensibly for western democratic rights that are more suited to warm up the affluent middle classes and the influential opinion makers in Intelligentsia and no promise for the change of common men’s life is forthcoming. Street demos ‘organized’ in some large urban centres are typically characterized by pretty faces of some well-fed women wearing designer dark glasses gleefully holding placards and banners with slogans all written in English where only a minority can read or write even Urdu, let alone chaste English language! Photographs of these demos, perhaps, have better ‘news value’ for the next morning local and international newspapers. In street power shows mostly filled with hired workers dancing mechanically atop large contract vehicles and curious onlookers in the sides, the same old tried and tested faces of corrupt politicians bejeweled with diamond studded accessories and protected by bullet-proof vehicles and rings of private security guards appear masquerading as ‘champions of democracy’. It is said, history repeats itself; first time as a tragedy, second time as a farce. All political parties have conveniently forgotten to even talk about the solutions for real issues faced by toiling men and women every day in our cities, small towns and the villages. It seems having learnt their lessons of the powerful mass appeal of the slogans of 1968 agitation, army and the ruling elite have agreed not to raise that genie again in Pakistan’s politics. There is a consensus on a clear shift from the real issues.

It seems currently a war of nerves is being fought between Pakistan army and the global powers bent upon gradually putting it in a tight corner and clipping its wings. Each party is scoring winning points over the other in each successive covert battle. Though, Musharraf regime is generally accused of selling its soul to its American masters in the ‘war on terror’, the indications are that while collaborating with the US led coalition in its broad policy objectives, it seems to have taken a posture of ‘strategic defiance’ in terms of domestic political affairs and its relations with China and Iran. To put international opinion pressures, a well orchestrated media war has been unleashed in the West to embarrass Pakistan. There is an unusual display of clear and direct interference in the domestic political affairs by the US and other European diplomats. There is a flurry of publicly admonishing statements and frequent arrivals in the country of plenipotentiaries of imperial west ‘advising’ how to behave. Strangely, US Ambassador is openly visiting the houses of leading lights of the protest movement against sitting government. Apparently, it is a delightful moment for a slavish middle class Intelligentsia. It is, however, ironic that the elite civic society which accuses the government of succumbing to the pressures of the US masters after 9/11 and becoming a stooge in the hands of US and the west in their fight against terror and killing its own people, in the same breath, is taking immense pride in these acts of the viceroys of the west. Gleeful acceptance of such brazen foreign interference in the internal political affairs of the country is setting a bad precedent that will continue to haunt this nation for a long time. We have lost our national pride and don’t even notice it. Last such shameful interference was only seen in 1977 when a beleaguered Bhutto agreed to let then Saudi Ambassador act like a supreme arbiter with a whip in his hands deciding matters between the interlocutors of PPP government and the arrested PNA leaders in Sihala Rest House near Islamabad in the wake of violent anti-government agitation on the charges of Bhutto’s rigging of the elections.

In politics and international relations there are no permanent friends and no permanent enemies. Those who have today locked their horns defending own turfs on some disagreements may tomorrow become friends and collaborators and turn against those who are happily siding with either of the two. This has been amply demonstrated in the last 60 years of the history of Pakistan politics and the last more than 2,500 years of world history. No need to get emotionally trapped in a particular moment in time and space. We need to take, using a modern term, ‘Google Earth’ view of the global events of history in a larger perspective, moving in time.

What options do we have?

To be fair, I am at a loss. For the first time in my life (24 to be precise), I am clueless. On the one hand we have an army that has dominated the politics in our country for the last about 50 years and has been ruling us directly or indirectly. Taking advantage of its paramount political power, it has also greatly expanded its own business empire directly competing with civic society and continues to drain better part of our national resources on unproductive activities to the clear disadvantage of public health, education and common well being. All saner elements of our society wish to see army limiting itself to its primary job of defending the borders; political institutions to be built and democratic rights of the people to be restored; and a fair and equitable distribution of fruits of the economic growth among all classes of society to ensure shelter, gainful employment, education and health facilities for everyone. We all know that no one voluntarily relinquishes its power and privileges and bestows equal rights on others as a gift. One must fight for it.

On the other hand we have an aggressive juggernaut of US expansion in the region trampling national sovereignty of countries under its feet with impunity. It wants to maul Pakistan army not for any love of the people of Pakistan or for its compulsive desire for restoration of democracy in every country. For global powers nuclear assets in the hands of a politically dominant strong standing army with some ‘stirred up’ Islamic fundamentalists lurking around is too big a risk for their designs in the region. They have clearly reserved greater roles for India to play in the region, which seems too eager to play ball with them. They are out for grabbing resources for themselves and preventing others (China) from gaining any strategic control over them. If there are few irritants on their way like Iraq, Syria, and Afghanistan or may be Iran or Pakistan tomorrow, they wouldn’t hesitate to obliterate them, if required. They are known to support and bolster ruthless tyrants and military dictators as long as they serve their purpose and then hang them on the streets. Inviting foreign tyrants and military powers to settle scores with domestic adversaries has never been a wise course of action. Abbasi caliph in Baghdad was foolish to invite Changez Khan to restore his power against oppressive Seljuq Turks. Mongol hordes came happily with a blazing trail of blood and destruction behind them. Some Iraqis who had thought that US and NATO forces will come and deliver them from the oppression of tyrant Saddam Hussein by handing them over a democratic Iraq on the plate must be cursing the day the US forces landed in Iraq to restore ‘democracy’ in the country, which has unfortunately witnessed its own destruction at the hands of invading armies more than any other country in the world.

Should we support and countenance all draconian measures and undemocratic actions of our military rulers? Not really. We need a long-term and sustained struggle for restoration of democracy, good governance and establishment of a fair economic system in our country. This is going to be a long journey. No heroic short cuts are there. There is no point in raising a premature counter-productive storm that cannot be sustained. Infantile adventurism in total disregard of given situation and relative strengths of different institutions and interest groups in the society will only lead to more repressive counter-measures and loss of even those meager gains that were made earlier over a period of time. In a misplaced enthusiasm of few of us who genuinely believe that a revolution has begun that will usher in a new era for replicating a matured European or US political governance model in a country where tribalism and feudal culture is still dominant even among the middle classes, we may unwittingly end up playing assigned stage roles for others. We should not be deceived by looking at ‘images’ formed on media and ascribing our own noble thoughts and imaginary ‘role models’ to them. Common men and women are perhaps more pragmatic and with their lessons learnt in the past can see better through the colorful political fog spread through media and have understandably abstained from it. Though I hate to draw this parallel, but for those who believe in peoples’ democratic rights I would remind that the democratic rights’ score card of its many champions including present day ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ is not very encouraging either.

Such are, perhaps, the realities of life.

The following is the photo of the proposed map (2015) being taught at the CIA academies. More on this in a post made by Sohaib Athar.