Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Crossed the Uncle Barrier

Had my first surprise birthday party last night. It was a mini one; simple yet elegant. And very surprising indeed. Coordinated by my oldest friend's younger sister, I'm glad about the people who did show up. They would pretty much make my close friends' list, with some major inclusions, of course.

I turned 26, which I think is the official age when a person can not be offended if called an uncle or an aunt. The first time I was called an uncle was when I was 12 (the person who called me 'uncle' was 17.) After 14 years of getting offended, I will now make a conscious effort on my part not to get offended if called an uncle. 'Nabeel Uncle'. Hah!

Slept very late, very little and then woke up early to only partially complete an assignment. Made it to the first class, then rushed back to change into formals. I just had to attend at least one of the P&G recruitment talks in NUS. It was quite useless though. All the information you need is on the website. After attending my second class in formals, I rushed back to PGP to change into my Squash gear, only to rush for a match I was sure to lose - and lost not as gracefully as I could have, I suppose. The IFG will soon be over for the FASS Squash team. Sad.

Now I shall shower to proceed with the business that is my birthday, and head down to commonwealth to distribute some flyers for the Pub Crawl I am helping organise. The party is exactly one week from now and I wait in earnest. Imagine! About 500 people, mostly comprising exchange students, from all the major universities of Singapore, wearing the same t-shirt, with funny things written on each one of them. As we head down from Boon Lay MRT to our final destination, the party will be lead to a new club opening.

So I am distributing flyers on my birthday. And then maybe I will hang out with the sister and the friends if they are present. There is nothing to be happy about though. I mean, it's my birthday, but so what. I turned 26. I have so much to do in my life and less time left now. What is there to celebrate or to be jeery about?

I removed my birthday from Facebook. I only wanted those people to wish me who really remembered (and naturally some who would notice other people's wishes on my wall to find out and wish too). Indeed, it has been a successful experiment. I got more personal and direct birthday wishes by sms or calls. Much better than 100 wall posts from people who just want me to reply back and create some action on their dull walls.

The real reason not to be happy, however, would be that my friend Rashmi passed away a few days ago. Despite all the nasty things in 2009, typhoid got to her, and the always-smiling, pleasant girl I shared so much (platonic) love with, passed away. All the YIP people found out last night, and teary calls were exchanged across continents (YIP = Youth Initiative for Peace). It sucks that such a beautiful person passed away. I hope that her sister and mother have the courage to deal with this, especially since they have already lost the male member of the family five years ago. I can not imagine their pain.

Here is an excerpt from one of the emails Rashmi sent to Pavi in recent times, followed by a testimonial that Rashmi wrote for me in 2003:
but this year is diff, its the phoenix's rise. crazy but feel like im entering womahood and its intoxicating. this past one month, ive seen things through such a different lens that i don't seem to know the person i was before that. phew. pretty good, huh.

ive been tingling with insights beyond my intellectually much scoffed at books. sensing my paths-to-be and sidestepping rocks. stories from a diff time are talking effortlessly to me people have been opening their innerworlds to me without our knowledge.

maybe im just living on a cloud, its easy being on this frozen island. or maybe this really is a new life unravelled. maybe its preparation for the next hundred years of sunrises and hearbreaks. or maybe it'll all be blown away in the wind at dawn tomorrow. now, i sound like im going to the battlefield,lol. but you must know i love you true. and don't care what you think or do, as long as you can see the ray of sunlight on my palm that i stole just for you.

in solidarity and other big words,
rushme

She had a full life, and I hope she is in a better place now, looking down at us, smiling as always. She will be missed.