G-E-E-K-!

I am a geek. It's official.

I can't help but to have outbursts of geek talk. It doesn't matter if I am sitting in a group of non-geeks. I just can't help myself.

I start Facebook groups like Revive BillMonk to protest the errors in the BillMonk service (which is actually an excellent service by the way). And my reason is that I just can't believe there's a fantastic website out there that has a major bug and it's not being fixed.

I use Mozilla Firefox because it has add-ons like the Facebook toolbar, the Google toolbar, SearchStatus 1.21 that shows Alexa and PageRank rankings, and Screengrab! 0.93, that helps save the entire web page as an image (very useful).

I also manage to hang Firefox because I don't restart it for days, have more than 15 tabs open at any given time, and I have two different versions of Adobe Acrobat (8.0 and 8.1) installed on my computer. There are times when I open a page that requires a Java applet to run (Internet banking or Facebook image uploader) while I open an Adobe Acrobat (.pdf) document in another tab, when at the same time a Facebook Notification (from the toolbar) pops up and that totally crashes my browser.

Thankfully, Mozilla saves all the web pages that are open before it hangs and when I open it again I get the option to 'Restore Session'. *smiles cheekily*

When I talk about things that totally inspire me, people often zone out because they don't want to listen to geek-talk (or know how to). You could get me started by saying something absurd like, "Yahoo is better than Google".

I am so passionate about most Google products that I just won't tolerate an accusation like that. Yeah, I use most Google products: AdSense, AdWords, Analytics, Base, Blogger, Calendar, Docs, Gmail, Groups, iGoogle, Maps, Notebook, orkut, Picasa Web Albums, Reader, Talk, Web History, and Webmaster Tools.

Why was there a need to make this post? Why tell the world you're a geek?

It's fairly simple - when people hear me talk (yap!) about geeky stuff, they feel like calling me a geek. But people are polite (yes, it's true!) so they don't.

But I don't mind being called a geek. It's only true. So go right ahead. Say it.

PS. This post may not make any sense at all. If you bothered reading it, you are either jobless or you just can't consume any more text books (reference to the NUS exam period). To the latter, I wish good luck.

Whims and Feelings

It's a weird feeling to not feel. To not care. To be oblivious to life. Desensitization.

You feel larger than life. You think life will bend to accommodate your whims and fantasies. Not the other way around.

You stop valuing people. Relationships. You give up hope on humankind. You fall into a downward spiral.

You feel better when you think of her. You continue to dream, to fantasize. And life starts to make some sense again. Until you get that email.

You try to contain it all in your head. You tell yourself you can deal with it. You can make it.

You just need someone to hold your hand.

PMS - Verb or Noun?

Sure you think it's a sensitive topic to discuss - whether you're a guy or a girl, or anywhere in between. But it's a fact of life, you know, like death, or halawa. These things exist in life and you have to learn to deal with them.

Personally, I think PMS is great if you're the one who's doing it. (In this context, PMS means whining - read on for more details.) For example, my computer has been PMSing since a few weeks now. Low disk space errors, viruses and what not. I finally reinstalled Windows but the errors continued. So I re-reinstalled it. It feels much better now after I have given it enough attention but every now and then it asks me to restart it so that some new updates can be installed. But I have too many PMSers to deal with. So I'm moving on.

That brings me to the question of what is this PMS. How do you pronounce this word? It's pee-em-ess by the way, and that is the noun form, and so is PMSer - a person who is PMSing. Pee-em-ess-ing is the verb.

PMS is the state/act (noun/verb) of acting out on an impulse of your emotions. To PMS effectively, you must make sure you don't rationalize or use any logic. Intuition and bad judgment will get you the attention you deserve.

To tackle PMS, think of it as war. Either you can be the brave warrior that fights on the forefront and doesn't step back. The warrior would continue to battle until he either dies or wins. Or you can be the one that runs away - hoping the war would end soon on its own and life would return to normal.

PMS is exhibited by many but only a few people realize they are dealing with it when they are dealing with it. Your cell phone could be PMSing, or your browser, your guy friends, your girl friends, your boyfriend or girlfriend, your siblings, the weather, the stove, school assignments, your leather boots, Photoshop, bank balance - just about anything!

So watch out!

Disclaimer: I used the computer's PMS as an example to illustrate that this phenomenon is not observed in just one gender or species. I am definitely not comparing women to computers. PMS is prevalent in every living and non-living thing and the sooner we become aware of it (and learn the tackle it) the better off we will be. Good luck to you.

31 days

After such massive abuse, there is no choice left but to reinstall Windows.

Status Updates on Facebook

March 13:

Nabeel is running through tissue paper rolls and cussing at the NUS CCA points' system.

12:03pm

Nabeel is running through tissue paper rolls.

7:27am

March 10:

Nabeel 's greatest dream is to see ZERO UNREAD emails in his inbox...

8:41am

March 9:

Nabeel is pulling his hair out!!!! *&%^$%@!

7:11pm

March 6:

Nabeel is sick and tired of being sick and tired.

7:35pm

March 1:

Nabeel wants to ride the world's largest observation wheel and then compare it with the eye in London.

8:46pm

February 28:

Nabeel has Chlorine in his lungs.

8:48pm

February 27:

Nabeel is keeping the faith...

5:25pm

Nabeel feels like a tabula rasa.

1:38pm

Nabeel is grilled.

1:31am

February 25:

Nabeel is in for some massive grilling.

2:47am

February 22:

Nabeel is dead dead dead (and the week has not really ended for him).

3:49pm

February 21:

Nabeel is dead.

11:46am

February 19:

Nabeel is going through his crisis week.

8:30pm

February 17:

Nabeel is sneezing like a pig... Oh wait, do pigs sneeze?

5:21pm

Nabeel is looking for Sweeney Todd but can't find it on Ares.

6:11am

February 16:

Nabeel is lovin' it.

3:09pm

February 15:

Nabeel is the internal communications expert in Yahoo!

3:27pm

Valentine's, what else?

Last Valentine's I was miserable and I shared this video on my blog.

This year it is different for some reason but those glazy eyed, dazed-face couples and the heart-shaped balloons still annoy the hell out of me. Whatever you guys do when you're in love, keep it in the closet! PDAs aren't really my thing. (That's Public Displays of Affection you geek!)

Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day to you all. If you also think this day is stupid, that's cool, but don't sit home alone tonight. Go out and buy yourself some chocolate.

Updates... Sneeze attack!

I've been out from the "blogging scene" since quite some time so what all have I been up to?

I watched The Notebook and The Kite Runner yesterday - both awesome movies that are able to deliver goosebumps and very real emotions (you know the kind you can feel in your eyes). I recommend them both even if you have the least bit of a feminine side.

Day before yesterday we finally initiated the Global Village project with the first meeting of the OC. I was lucky to be able to get hold of some talented people from AIESEC in NUS and now it's all about implementation and a little bit of brainstorming as we come up with proposals and what not. I have yet to send out the minutes though. I need to speak to the LCP about some things first so I'm procrastinating a bit. But what can an LC event be without the president's help?

Right now I am sitting down at the lovers' den near Central Forum and I'm working on a web critique that I have to write for my publications module. I'm handing it in late so I need to make it very good to make up for the penalty. I've picked the AIESEC Singapore website to critique and the other four websites need to be of similar organisations so I'm picking iHippo, Work and Travel USA, JobsCentral, NUS Exchange and one other.

Speaking of the lovers' den, it's quite empty here considering it's the love season - St Valentine's coming up and all. I guess this place is still somewhat original and not commercialised (but it could be done very effectively, I believe).

Later I am attending WWF's Living Planet Report (multi-disciplinary perspectives on climate change). If someone from the AIESEC Environmental Awareness PBoX is there, we might even speak to WWF about a possible partnership or something of the sort.

Tomorrow I have 7 hours of non-stop lectures/tutorials (Tuesdays I am booked from 10 am to 5 pm) and then The Ridge elections at 6:30 or something. Still not sure if I want to run for anything.

I also have to complete my EB application because I have decided I want to be in next year's AIESEC in NUS executive board. But I can't find my old application - it would've helped so much! Wish me luck as I am sure there will be good competition!

Oh, and I have signed up for Arabic language classes that will be every Wednesday (starting day after tomorrow) 5 to 7 pm. The downside to this is that it leaves me broke, and now I need to quit smoking to save some money. More on that on my War On Smoking blog (I'm selling my last 50g packet of Drum tobacco if anyone wants it for S$20).

I haven't done any cooking this semester and my sister has been picking up the slack. The other day I soaked some red (kidney) beans in water for two days and they went bad because I didn't cook them. They were just lying there and had to be thrown away. I hate wastage of food! So I need to do some cooking real soon!

And last, I am applying for internships for this Summer (there's this one Development Traineesheep in China that really caught my attention) but I am not sure if I want to apply through AIESEC (there's this one with Bloomberg Singapore that I really like). So I am not sure what I should do. I also want to plan it in such a way so that I can visit Pakistan again for a month or so at the end of the 3-month summer vacaton.

So what have you been up to?

Sneeze attack!

Black and White World

I wonder how it can be so easy for people to live in a completely black and white world. Where philosophies, logic and arguments can not reach any conclusion because of the very nature of this kind of world.

Reasons.


Excuses? Arguments? What are reasons? Why is it so hard to understand them; to deal with them? Why do some people choose to accept reasons and others choose to ignore them?

Do reasons represent what is morally grey? Do they represent everything that falls between the black and the white?

Are all the colours of life just a bunch of reasons?

I don't fathom reasons. I don't like excuses. I always like to do what is best and what is the most appropriate. But I still have reasons.

If a father, who is supposed to go to an event that is important to his daughter, isn't able to make it because of, guess what - reasons, does that make him a bad guy?

The answer is: in a black and white world that would make him a bad guy.

But life can not be just that black and white, now can it? Reasons are always there to be accepted, so that life can move on and show all its colours in all their glory.

There is a reason why everything turns out to be the way it does. In fact, there are always numerous reasons - and tons and tons of different perspectives. I'm saying there are even more than two sides to every story.

Life is not black and white. Accept it the way it is and learn to understand all the perspectives.

It's too cliched but I'll still say it - forgive, and forget - the two things that will always make you happy and your life colourful.

Experience of a Singaporean in Pakistan

Zafirah is an NUS graduate who was in the AIESEC national team in 2005-2006 as President. She has been doing an AIESEC internship in Karachi, the ex-capital of Pakistan and here she shares some of her experiences and opinions about Pakistani culture. It is a good read, especially for Pakistanis.

Hey everyone!

Hope you're all doing well. Here in Pakistan it's business as usual. I "visited" Singapore last week for a wedding, and have now returned to Karachi. It's a long email here, recapping thoughts and sharing experiences. So read on only if you have time!

It's been eventful in the past 5 months, and having it peaceful like now, it's quite strange I must say. In Karachi we've had the floods in July/August, the first Benazir assasination attempt, the Karachi Express train derailed, the state of emergency imposed by Musharraf, the assasination of Benazir, post Benazir fiasco, and now upcoming elections. Quite exciting times indeed!

Truth be told, I can now understand why most Pakistani's have become numb to political developments in the country. I still remember when the state of emergency was declared. Us interns were so worried, yet the Pakistani AIESECers shrugged it off as no big deal. Today, we read the newspapers and nothing surprises us anymore. The worst seems to have already happened, one of Pakistan's most influential political leader was killed and no particular group has been identified as being responsible for her death.

And now with elections around the corner, everyone is looking forward for it to be OVER. It doesn't matter who wins, as long as there is somebody! Because then there is certainty and with certainty, whether good or bad will bring stability because people know what to expect and how to deal with the circumstances.

Anyway, politics aside...

I was once asked about how women are treated here in Pakistan. And I am being totally frank here, (albeit with a bit of humour) the women are loved, respected, but sometimes overprotected. Being a woman I am entitled to priviledges that men never enjoy. For example:

1) In bargaining for the rickshaw, all I need is a tilt of the head and pleading eyes and the drivers just sigh..... and give in to my asking price! :)

2) If I were driving, I would always get my way on the roads. ALWAYS, no questions asked!

3) If in the elevator, men would squeeze themselves like sardines into the corners to allow me to get on, and even then still give me lots of breathing room!

Generally, living alone in Pakistan as a woman is really quite safe. However in career development, it is still evolving. Mindsets are being challenged within less educated families as it is not accepted for a daughter to be working, what more developing a career? Making an independent, individualistic choice by the daughter is virtually unheard of. From my interactions with young ladies here who have finished their education, from both better-off families and poor families, these ladies have limited options. This is because what they want to do in their own future is determined by their family's approval. e.g. getting married, starting a family.

Of course there are ladies who are given the opportunity to develop their own talents, pursue their chosen careers, and not protected from making their own mistakes and learning from them. However these cases are rare, from what I observe, looking at the number of women entrusted with top management positions.

As a trainee, we can observe, question and hopefully inspire positive change in this environment we are in. Through daily interactions, conversations, and leading by example. Which brings me to my point! (Yes, this long email has a purpose, especially for those that might be considering but haven't decided on exchange yet!)

Through the AIESEC experience, we hope to develop change agents with entrepreneurial, socially responsible, active learner, etc.. characteristics. Which seems like a lot of fluff for me when I was a new member! And I never really understood how effective it really is, until NOW! Exchange is and should remain the most integral part, because it just makes everything fall into place.

Being here in Pakistan has challenged me, changed me, made me realise even more what I am capable of, what I need to do, what my life purposes are, and how I can get there.

For those that are applying for exchange I wish you all the best and may you realise your potential even more!

For those that are still thinking about going for exchange.... I'd say just go for it! Don't let the opportunity pass because there may not be a next time later on...

For those undecided where to go for exchange.... Come to Pakistan! What you see on TV is just a tiny fraction of life events here, and if I can survive for this long, so can you. I believe we have a few development traineeships and management traineeships available. If you're interested, drop me a mail :)


All the best!

Zafirah Mohamed