It's a weird feeling to not feel. To not care. To be oblivious to life. Desensitization.
You feel larger than life. You think life will bend to accommodate your whims and fantasies. Not the other way around.
You stop valuing people. Relationships. You give up hope on humankind. You fall into a downward spiral.
You feel better when you think of her. You continue to dream, to fantasize. And life starts to make some sense again. Until you get that email.
You try to contain it all in your head. You tell yourself you can deal with it. You can make it.
You just need someone to hold your hand.
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