Crossed the Uncle Barrier

Had my first surprise birthday party last night. It was a mini one; simple yet elegant. And very surprising indeed. Coordinated by my oldest friend's younger sister, I'm glad about the people who did show up. They would pretty much make my close friends' list, with some major inclusions, of course.

I turned 26, which I think is the official age when a person can not be offended if called an uncle or an aunt. The first time I was called an uncle was when I was 12 (the person who called me 'uncle' was 17.) After 14 years of getting offended, I will now make a conscious effort on my part not to get offended if called an uncle. 'Nabeel Uncle'. Hah!

Slept very late, very little and then woke up early to only partially complete an assignment. Made it to the first class, then rushed back to change into formals. I just had to attend at least one of the P&G recruitment talks in NUS. It was quite useless though. All the information you need is on the website. After attending my second class in formals, I rushed back to PGP to change into my Squash gear, only to rush for a match I was sure to lose - and lost not as gracefully as I could have, I suppose. The IFG will soon be over for the FASS Squash team. Sad.

Now I shall shower to proceed with the business that is my birthday, and head down to commonwealth to distribute some flyers for the Pub Crawl I am helping organise. The party is exactly one week from now and I wait in earnest. Imagine! About 500 people, mostly comprising exchange students, from all the major universities of Singapore, wearing the same t-shirt, with funny things written on each one of them. As we head down from Boon Lay MRT to our final destination, the party will be lead to a new club opening.

So I am distributing flyers on my birthday. And then maybe I will hang out with the sister and the friends if they are present. There is nothing to be happy about though. I mean, it's my birthday, but so what. I turned 26. I have so much to do in my life and less time left now. What is there to celebrate or to be jeery about?

I removed my birthday from Facebook. I only wanted those people to wish me who really remembered (and naturally some who would notice other people's wishes on my wall to find out and wish too). Indeed, it has been a successful experiment. I got more personal and direct birthday wishes by sms or calls. Much better than 100 wall posts from people who just want me to reply back and create some action on their dull walls.

The real reason not to be happy, however, would be that my friend Rashmi passed away a few days ago. Despite all the nasty things in 2009, typhoid got to her, and the always-smiling, pleasant girl I shared so much (platonic) love with, passed away. All the YIP people found out last night, and teary calls were exchanged across continents (YIP = Youth Initiative for Peace). It sucks that such a beautiful person passed away. I hope that her sister and mother have the courage to deal with this, especially since they have already lost the male member of the family five years ago. I can not imagine their pain.

Here is an excerpt from one of the emails Rashmi sent to Pavi in recent times, followed by a testimonial that Rashmi wrote for me in 2003:

but this year is diff, its the phoenix's rise. crazy but feel like im entering womahood and its intoxicating. this past one month, ive seen things through such a different lens that i don't seem to know the person i was before that. phew. pretty good, huh.

ive been tingling with insights beyond my intellectually much scoffed at books. sensing my paths-to-be and sidestepping rocks. stories from a diff time are talking effortlessly to me people have been opening their innerworlds to me without our knowledge.

maybe im just living on a cloud, its easy being on this frozen island. or maybe this really is a new life unravelled. maybe its preparation for the next hundred years of sunrises and hearbreaks. or maybe it'll all be blown away in the wind at dawn tomorrow. now, i sound like im going to the battlefield,lol. but you must know i love you true. and don't care what you think or do, as long as you can see the ray of sunlight on my palm that i stole just for you.

in solidarity and other big words,

rushme

She had a full life, and I hope she is in a better place now, looking down at us, smiling as always. She will be missed.

Free SMS to Pakistan from the Internet

It has been MONTHS since I've been searching for a reliable way to send 'SMS messages' (Short Message Service) to Pakistan. On a side-note, I think "SMS Message" is a case of RAS Syndrome (or Redundant Acronym Syndrome Syndrome) - it's not perfectly clear if it is, though.

There was a time somewhere around 2007 when any Internet user could send Mobilink subscribers messages from the Mobilink website. Not any more. This was back when sms2pk.com also gained much popularity but the site doesn't function any more. Nothing works. And sending international SMS is expensive.

I don't understand why mobile service providers wouldn't want to provide such a service free of charge. Consider a typical scenario when an expatriate wants to SMS back home. I will either send less messages to save cost, or not send them at all. Usually it is so expensive that I might as well just call if I must communicate. Unless, of course, I find a way to send SMS from the Internet for free. Generally, the person I message will end up replying to my cell phone ($$$ for the mobile service provider) or replying to the online applet I used to SMS (again, $$$ for the mobile service provider). So I don't understand why mobile service providers in Pakistan do not offer this service ( especially when they are advanced enough to allow Facebook updates and what not just by sending a message to some number).

I tried searching blogs and Internet forums to find a service that at least talked about this service but the only useful thread I found had posts made in 2006 or 2007, and the others were also useless.

For Singapore, at least SingTel and Starhub allow Internet SMS. SingTel Internet SMS is a little troublesome, because you have to register with the site, but at least anyone can register - it is not limited to SingTel subscribers only. Starhub WebSMS is the absolute best! That is how simple and convenient it should be. And it is a great service to offer subscribers, isn't it? You're enabling communication and making a few extra bucks at the same time - what else does a mobile service provider do?

Currently, the WaridTel website PROBABLY offers such a feature, but only for its subscribers and to sign up, you must enter your Warid number. Isn't that just like chopping off your own feet? IF they offer this service for free, only limited to their subscribers, they're just losing out on the money they could make. Anyway, I am not even sure if that service works. I will have to ask a friend to let me use his number to register for an account (when you register, they send the activation code to the number by SMS).

I also registered for isms.pk which is in beta mode and promises to send free SMS to any number in Pakistan. They have yet to email me my password yet, and if the email never arrives, that means the site has failed already. I learned of this website from that expired thread I spoke of earlier.

From a political perspective, I'm guessing that such a service may not be possible any time soon thanks Mr 10%'s insecurity when he got the interior minister to ban ANY kind of jokes about him (or the government) - all SMS messages and email messages containing indecent, provocative and ill-motivated stories against the civilian leadership (primarily making fun of Zardari) are considered criminal offences, with 14 years in prison as the maximum sentence. Yeah, they're still calling it a democracy.
*chuckle*

I want to send free SMS to Pakistan!

(Note to mobile service providers: Paid is also fine as long as it's dirt-cheap - but then it mustn't have daily limits, heh. Mastercard/Visa payment please.)

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Is Facebook past its prime?

http://www.macworld.com/article/141565/2009/07/facebook.html
Is Facebook past its prime? | by Hillary Rhodes, PC World

To add my two cents, I use Facebook primarily for the hot debates (politics/religion) when friends post articles (I'm Pakistani, so you can imagine there is loads to debate about).

And secondly, it IS a good tool to stay in touch with friends and family - even distant relatives, as they upload pictures and videos and the comments allow us to record our reactions after seeing them. Status updates are another way to connect with other people and are excellent for extroverts.

Of course people go overboard with these two things I mentioned as well, and on occasion I might have done that too, but the only worst-case scenario is that people will 'hide' your posts. Which is perfectly fine - you only want those people to listen to you who WANT to listen to you.

I don't care for the quizzes and the games myself. Facebook was almost destroyed when the apps took over, almost a year ago. Right now the quizzes are playing the same role. I really think Facebook doesn't need to evolve much - just stay the same so that we can explain how to adjust privacy settings to our grandparents (when they secretly get in touch with their high school sweethearts and need to hide that interaction from their wives).

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On an Article Posted On Today

http://www.todayonline.com/voices/EDC090717-0000059/You-can-eat-in-your-own-car

You can eat ... in your own car | Letter from Murali S | 05:55 AM Jul 17, 2009

What a ridiculous point of view! Eat in your own car? The majority doesn't have cars in Singapore. That sounds like the sort of thing a spoilt brat would say, who doesn't understand reality. (You know the type - they were born with silver spoons in their mouths, they went to the best schools and everywhere they went, the doors opened up for them. They never understand the plight of the common man who suffers through life everyday.)

And they deployed FIVE HUNDRED people to get this done? I didn't know that. Isn't it a little extreme? You want people to live in fear every day, every time they go some where? See how freaked people are now?

You know what I think is more despicable than some spillage on the train floor? An old man standing and two rows of young people just sitting there. Why don't you fine that and make Singaporeans a little more civil? Clearly your announcements telling people to let people out of train doors before they push their way in fall on deaf ears. Civility does not come naturally to some people - especially the ones who are used to being fined before they start doing the right thing.

Besides, I've seen more vomit-covered train floors than water or coke. Having meals on a train should be fined though, sure, why not. But if you think about it, CCTVs might be a cheaper choice in the long run (you can just put up dummy CCTVs - people would never know and they would be equally effective!).

Golf ≠ Sport

A Golfer needs complete silence to hit something laying on the ground, yet a Baseball/Cricket player has to deal with screaming fans and a ball flying at them at 90 km/h. Something's fishy here.

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The Bro Code - Barney Stinson (complete)

Download now or preview on posterous

Bro Code.pdf (22039 KB)

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If I believe in Recycling, how do I deal with Cultural backlash?

Sometimes there is such a disparity between culture and beliefs that it encumbers you. I wish to go for a conference on recycling in Romania, but the people I grew up with - in fact - the society I grew up in - especially close friends and family, scorn at ideas such as recycling, social responsibility and such.

It is true, my mother did teach us not to throw garbage on the streets. She taught us to try to utilize every blank spot on a piece of paper before moving on to the next one. As a mother and a school teacher, she even taught us to buy those disgusting pink-coloured 'rough copies' which are made from recycled paper in Pakistan. But when we all grew up, most of us preferred to use paper cups and plates instead of reusing porcelain ones.

Studying with a sibling in a foreign university, we often bicker about washing dishes amongst each other and friends after cooking every meal. My kid sisters who are visiting me in Singapore surprise me by the amount of paper they waste, tearing them out one by one just because of an accidental line here and a mistake there.

Awareness is not embedded in our society. It is an acquired attitude. In a corporate environment where a mistake is treated like it is the end of the world, to send out just one letter on behalf of a CEO could require up to 20 pages or even more paper being wasted in the process of rectification. To have a sip of water means wasting an 'expanded polystyrene foam' (Styrofoam) cup, when it could easily be reused while taking care of proper hygiene at the same time.

It is difficult for me to accept these things because I notice and I can not do anything about it. But of course, I am no angel myself. Being a smoker, I have extinguished thousands of cigarette butts and thrown them around unconsciously, not realising these are pieces of foam that are not bio-degradable. While at university, I have made a countless number of reprints when submitting research papers and sundry, in the name of 'presentation', for if I were to edit a printed paper using pen, it would look messy to the professor. But of course, I am able to justify each such instance that reveals my hypocrisy with regards to the cause of recycling and environmental sustainability. Human beings are justifying machines, but we can always try, can we not? That is what they say about following religion anyway, so why not a social cause?

Recycle IN is the first International Conference on recycling organized by AIESEC Timisoara, being held from July 30 to May 6, 2009. Through this conference, this branch of AIESEC in Romania is hoping to inform and educate participants (as well as the Timisoara populace) about issues such as recycling, sustainability and being friendly to the environment. The conference is split into three tracks: Out-of-service Auto Vehicles if you have an interest in the automotive industry, Waste Products to learn about recycling processes for common materials, and Electronics and Appliances for those with an interest in the Physics or History of Electronics and how they are recycled.

The conference application form is very basic and simple to fill, and the fee is just 90 Euros including meals and accommodation for EIGHT days! With that deal one can also save money to visit Serbia or Hungary.

The issue for me now is: how can I wake up this morning and sign up for a conference on recycling when I had dinner in Styrofoam plates and cups just last night?

I may blame society for inhibiting me from taking an active stance against environmentally unfriendly behaviour, but the fact is, I still allow it. It is still within my control. To resolve this disparity between culture and beliefs, I have no choice but to develop a consistent attitude, whether my close friends and family like it or not. I must minimize my hypocrisy with regards to this issue by being more environmentally friendly, whether I sign up for the conference or not. People might think I am rude for pointing out such things, but I can live with that, as long as there is some positive impact. (After all, I am still alive after pointing out facial hair and pimples on women a countless number of times!)

In the end, everyone of us likes to believe that we are good human beings (despite all the nasty and selfish things that we know we have done). So why not be proactive and assertive as we adopt better attitudes to become better human beings? The world is our stage and we are the actors, but when will we actually start doing something?

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Hold Me?

Hold Me by Savage Garden  
Download now or listen on posterous

02 Hold Me.mp3 (9123 KB)

Standing face to face, Enemies at war we build defences, And secret hiding places...

More than angry words I hate this silence, It's getting so loud, Well I want to scream, But bitterness has silenced these emotions, It's getting hard to breathe....

I'm willing to do anything, To calm the storm in my heart. I've never been the praying kind, But lately I've been down upon my knees. Not looking for a miracle, Just a reason to believe....

Now we don't live we exist, We just run through our lives; So alone....

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Remaking Women

I absolutely must must MUST get hold of this book and read it - whatever the cost may be!


(Remaking Women: Feminism and Modernity in the Middle East - Lila Abu Lughod; Princeton Studies in Culture/Power/History)

In fact, this is not the only book on this topic that I want to read - there are so many others...

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